It’s nearly been two years since the day my life changed forever (dramatic, I know, but that’s truly how I feel about it). And not in a bitter way, in the best way possible.
As with any situation that impacts any human on a major scale, with time, I have grown wiser and more able to see the silver lining in my snowboard accident on August 24, 2017.
Here’s what my traumatic brain injury has taught me:
- That I have a freaking angel of a soulmate who is the best support person I could ever ask for. Matty has helped me to grow and thrive in my new environment and has always supported me 110%. I will never take for granted how much I love you and how incredible it is to have you walk through this journey of life with my by my side. Thank you for everything.
- The true value of my friendships. Having a brain injury of any magnitude can be very isolating because no one can truly comprehend how you’re feeling or what is going on inside (unless they’ve been through it themselves). The last 2 years have really shown me who my true friends are and just how strong my support system is. I am so blessed with the best of friends, of whom I can call on at the drop of a hat.
- The healing power of yoga. I know, I know. It sounds woo-woo but I mean it. Like really mean it. Yoga was the only exercise I could do after my injury and it helped to keep me moving in a gentle way so I wouldn’t seize up and I learned more about the other aspects of yoga rather than just the physical practice. I learned how magical meditation and pranayama (breath practice) is for calming my nervous system – which, let’s face it, if you’ve had a TBI you know your nervous system is out of whack in so many ways. I went from being able to do a pretty advanced practice with ease to not being able to hold myself in table top position. So the power of yoga also reminded me to stay humble in my practice. To focus on how movements feel rather than look.
- That communication is key for any relationship to survive – and I’m talking about the one with my husband, Matt, with my family, friends, colleagues, therapists…anyone!!! I found that I was assuming people knew what I was thinking or implying but that was not the case at all. I have learned to communicate clearly and with confidence. I’ve learned that I am safe and that it is ok to communicate how I feel and what I’m thinking.
- I’ve learned to appreciate how magnificent the human body is. It can go through some dark shit, and some pretty stagnant places, to being fully functioning again given time is allowed and that it is in the right environment. For me, it was essential to remove myself from any environment that was causing more of a hinderance than was supporting my recovery which is why I have not been back teaching full time. The classroom is a full on environment that is busy and this is not something super ideal for concussion recovery.
- How awesome eye pillows are! Especially when they’re kept in the freezer (omg you’ve got to try)!!! Having an eye pillow means I can take a break anywhere and block out the visual world around me for a moment. I believe that eye pillows should be given out to all concussion patients when they’re diagnosed – they are that helpful!
- The importance of doing what makes your soul & heart sing. One of the standout things I did during my recovery was attend Macklemore’s concert with my cousin in February 2018. She was 7-8 months pregnant at the time and I was only 6 months post-accident so we were a right pair sober at this concert. But it was incredible and still one of my top moments of these past 2 years. Hearing his music to this day still makes my heart skip a beat as I remember how much that concert lifted me up. It literally carried me for about 4 weeks after that through my attempted return to work.
- That it is ok to ask for help & support. I’ve felt like I needed to have everything figured out so many times over these past 2 years. To have myself fully healed and recovered by a certain date, to have a decent paying job as soon as possible. It was all too much and when I accepted that I needed to ask for support and help, I was rewarded tenfold.
- That getting a puppy was a freaking amazing decision. Luna came into our lives at the perfect time and she helped to take my attention off myself to caring for her. It was perfect. She got me outside daily for walks, she got me to embrace playing more often and she has become a best friend for both Matt and I. Concussion patients should also get dogs, or at least do dog therapy haha, it seriously helps so much!!
- And finally, that things really do work out as they’re meant to, in their own timing. Rushing through life or to make things happen faster than they need to is not the way to live. I have chosen to live a life in flow – where things come and go naturally. It’s a daily practice, being patient, and I’m so grateful for all it has taught me so far.
I wouldn’t change the last 2 years for anything, not a single detail. Because each event, or situation I’ve been in, has shaped who and where I am today. Much more good has come from the snowboard tumble than not. And with all of my relationships stronger than ever before, I am so grateful.
